I had an interesting experience last night. I woke up about three thirty in the morning and couldn't really go back to sleep,and after about an hour I kind of collapsed, exhausted.
I didn't exactly go to sleep- I was fully conscious and I could tell what was happening. But I wasn't exactly awake, either- I could see an image forming in front of me- I could see a line of cliffs and ocean extending to it, and huge waves which interestingly were coming from the cliffs towards me, outwards and away from the shore line.
This was different from a dream- dreams are really jumpy, first I'm here, then I'm there, then something different happens. This is both in the content but also while they happen- there isn't really a continuous flow or detail- for example if there's water somewhere, I kind of know that this is water, but in a dream I can't sit down and gaze at the way the light sparkles around and how the flow is, it's much more conceptual.
This was different. This was exactly like quietly sitting by the ocean and watching waves. I could see the waves slowly building up, I could feel what they looked like, and my point of view was completely static. It was almost like watching a scene from a slow movie.
Then there was a shift. Suddenly, in place of the waves, I could see an abstract figure- it was like a sheet of plywood, but with no texture, with a geometric shape cut out of it, I think at first it was a kind of polygon, like a triangle but with the tips removed, giving an uneven hexagon. Behind the shape was another board, with a similar shape cut out, and another one behind that one, and another, and another. Those shapes were changing like a kaleidoscope, it was like a tunnel morphing in and out of different kinds of geometry, but it always stayed those board-like objects one behind another, just the shape was constantly changing.
Then I woke up and noticed that this had been different, and then I realized it was probably sleep-induced accidental astral projection. Then my body noticed I was really tired and I conked out and slept properly. Real deep, apparently, I couldn't remember a thing.
Astral projection is a term that is often used to describe this sort of experience- you experience sensory input but your body is still here in this regular world. Also the world you experience is consistent and has the same kind of regular flow that our regular world has, but the rules might be different. It's a little bit like a lucid dream, because in dreams, too, you experience things spontaneously without apparent participation from your body. It's also a little bit like a shamanic journey, but you can direct a shamanic journey, and this experience was really consistent even without actively holding a focus. It's also really similar to the Huna version of astral projection, Magical Flight, which is like a particularly detailed shamanic journey with more emphasis on the experience and the view. But it was distinct from all of those because the subject matter wasn't really chosen and the experience felt more like something that happened rather than something that I was participating in or even creating. And the level of timing detail and consistency was unlike anything I'd ever experienced outside of regular reality.
There was one thing though- it was black and white. For some reason, in most circumstances, that's all I get- darn I would like some color.
Now as for one interesting question that comes up a lot: What does it mean?
I know the answer to that one because I chose it myself: Nothing. Someone I really respect once said that it's equally important not to see Omens as it is to see them. In this case, the experience itself was so remarkable and exciting I decided this could do just fine with no meaning whatsoever attached to it. But I suppose I could see it as a sign of spiritual progress or a cathartic experience if I was looking for something to let it mean, those seemed perfectly fine, but nothing at all suits me just fine for this one.
I'd been feeling a little off for a while.
I usually keep myself in pretty good emotional condition but this time, no matter what I tried to get better, it just seemed to make it worse. My back was in painful knots, I was grumpy, touchy, looking out of my eyes like a hungry lizard out of his cave, ready to lunge at someone. I knew this wasn't going to go well for long, so I decided to use my spiritual power of last resort: Distraction! So after a really unsatisfying session of watching television I decided to try a spiritual technique that I'd ignored so far because I didn't know what it was good for: Astral Projection.
In traditional Western magical tradition, it is very, very common to make some kind of deal with an external entity, who will then grant you some kind of power, but usually command a very steep price.
For example, traditional folk magic from Germany has it that you can marry a nymph. First you need to find a nymph, and call out to her, and then you woo her, and when she feels ready you take her down to the forest with actual witnesses and have a wedding ritual, and then you wear the ring, and you don't marry anyone else, and you most certainly don't commit adultery by starting anything informal with a human woman. If you do all these things, of course the nymph will help you with all that is in her power, as any loving life partner would, which in her case means to adjust coincidences so that you achive great success and fortune. Of course, the stories go, eventually the sacred vows are usually broken and great tragedy comes about. Look out for rich old (apparent) bachelors to find people who stuck to the deal.
Since I'm offering shamanic services now a friend of mine decided to jump on the bandwagon and book a consulting session with me. As with any good career move he started out by procrastinating and then formulating a concept document on Google Docs, which made me smile (don't tell him- oh wait, he's going to be reading this). The gist of the matter was that he felt incapable of letting go- which he took to mean that he felt unable to reduce the amount of gigs he was doing in his current occupation, in order to really get to business with his potential new occupation, which pays much better, but is unproven to work. He wanted to, like, really, really go for it. Like, really bad. Like, he wanted to let go so really very bad that he got pretty darned uptight about letting go. It all felt really confusing and when I felt that way just by reading his words- and they really felt like they had been hammered onto the computer screen by lifting keys on a keyboard made of marble bricks- I was like, okay he's in trouble. Not trouble trouble, but surely some kind of block towards where he wanted to go. But I couldn't quite tell what it was all about- did he he feel so much tension because this new thing isn't right for him? Or because he is resisting the old thing too much to get rid of it?
A while ago, it seems like along time ago now, I was practicing shamanism strictly privately, for fear that I might be branded a loon. I eventually gradually came to realize that the people who felt threatened by spiritual ideas were already put off by me, even if I held back on the label, and to the people I already clicked with, the label just made things easier to talk about. But accepting the label takes confidence, and that confidence took a while to build. This is the story of one of the steps.
So we were a friendly group hanging out in the kitchen, drinking beer, cooking spaghetti with tomato sauce and giving back rubs. Now in our society you usually only touch someone when it's a special occasion, but someone had decided to change that rule and everyone eventually went along with it. Back rubs are so nice! So one of my friends decided it was her turn and I reached out but it felt really uneasy. I didn't want to be rude so started kind of testing the energy with my fingertips and I could feel my subconscious jerk my hands back in revulsion and gasp. Whoa, what was that! Now my subconscious really enjoys her company, but touching her lower back- that's not fun, and tonight's about fun, so there.
Now she had been having all sorts of trouble with various kinds of conflict and was doing impressively well for herself in spite of it all. She was doing some work in politics and had- at least, that's what I thought- decided that the materialistic worldview was the one where she was least likely to have people question her sanity. I didn't push the issue, she knew I think of the world in terms of energy, and I always suspected her to be a closeted witch. So she heard me gasp, and she blurted out- whoa, what was that? What did you see?
One of my long term hobbies- I think even longer than practicing shamanism- is, hold your horses, everyone- playing foosball.
Of course, playing Foosball is a lot more fun when you win. The winning itself is very enjoyable, but it also raises your social status, and there is the added benefit that there is a social consensus that when you just won a game of foosball, you are allowed to pull otherwise cringeworthy stunts- like performing a moonwalk- while bystanders and losers alike have to pretend like what you are doing is completely normal. There is no joy quite like assimilating and then subverting the tribal customs.
Now I'm a reasonably strong player just by virtue of doing it a lot. For the most part, the people who beat me are competitive players, but occasionally, I'll meet my match. Normally I play simply by intending to win, and letting my subconscious mind take care of all of the playing. This results in fluid maneuvers but also unconventional and downright infuriatingly lucky shots.
Last week I faced off with a friend of mine who is much less experienced than me, but has built in himself a tremendous mastery of the energy around him by working in sales. I dived in expecting to toy with him a bit and then go for a quick win, but suddenly I could feel him taking control of the ball and even the table. That took me by surprise and I couldn't respond in educating my ku about dealing with this new challenge before he had beaten me down ten to zero and general gloating ensued.
Now today, I faced him off again and I concentrated rather hard trying to figure out something I could teach my ku in order to counter his unconsciously applied magic. A couple goals behind again, I found myself staring at the ball rather intently, and I observed that he couldn't get it into the goal. So I did nothing different- I just concentrated really, really hard on the ball, noticed details about it, and then added my conscious intent to charge the ball with as much energy as possible, and won handily.
Energy really does flow where attention goes, and when you're competing for something, having a lot of that energy coming from you is a really, really good idea!
I didn't nudge the ball, I didn't twitch his wrist, I didn't do anything specific- I just concentrated on the ball until I could feel a charge.
This goes to show how every good coach is teaching energy manipulation, but as shamans we have a working theory of why it works. Keep your eye on the ball, they say! The wisdom of that is much deeper than knowing where the ball is. You don't keep your eye on the ball to know where it is, you keep your eye on the ball to charge it with energy and cause circumstances to arrange so that you are the one who is, literally, in charge of it. If you have the most energy on the ball, your intentions will influence it, and everyone else, the most, and you will win! It helps, of course, to teach your ku valuable techniques to work with, but don't overdo that one. Ku will figure out how to win.
Maybe next time I'll add a little energy breathing, and I most certainly will concentrate more fully on my opponent while I perform my victory dance.
Recently I decided my budding Shaman Blog had enough stuff on it to be considered started, so I decided it would be a good idea to share it with the pack, so to speak, and put it in front of the people who really know what I'm talking about- the Kahili Huna group- and then clean up my kitchen. First things first.
I'd only shared it online with what I would call "seekers", people who might be interested in various spiritual practices, and shamans of varying skill and different traditions, for whom this somewhat different blog was most likely to be peripherally interesting, just some shamanic articles to gloss over and come back to later or not.
What I didn't consider is that when you reach out to a bunch of the most powerful shamans in the world with something that's really relevant to them, you are getting a response. So while I was scrubbing away and piling dishes, I turn around and my back kitchen wall is gone, and there there are all these pairs of eyeballs checking me out, and I can see my ku happily taking questions in a kind of Greek auditorium. And I think, boy, I wish I'd cleaned up my kitchen beforehand. I could picture how this went down- OK, so who's the new guy, got anything on him? Wait, Let me check... I see a man... in an unhealthy environment... making it better... yeah, he checks out. He's doing some kind of healing, but I'm not sure I want to know what it is.
So I went down to see Mr. Tree again, the friendly soul, and this time, something was different. Someone was there. A very friendly lady was introducing Mr. Tree to her friend I just happened to be there at just the right time so she kind of naturally included me in the conversation.
Turns out I'm not the first human Mr. Tree has taken an interest in. She said she was a bit of a spiritual networker, and went to visit Mr. Tree almost every day, and he really helped her get over some trouble she was having. She even showed me her favorite spot to sit on his roots. Mr. Tree had tried to show me on his own but I didn't quite get it at the time, I just politely sat down a bit and then rolled out a blanket nearby.
As if all that wasn't enough, she very matter-of-factly let me know that there used to be anti-chernobyl dance sessions there. It would appear that Mr. Tree is one political animal.
I had a little chat with Mr. Tree the other day. Mr. Tree is a large tree near a river in my city and he invited me over when I was looking for a place to sit down and play with my baby daughter. I was sitting down nearby, and the phrase "your place is right over here" popped into my mind, and there was this really powerful looking tree, like he was bursting with zest.
So I sat down and let the baby play with some of Mr. Tree's leaves that he had shed, admired him, and blessed him, and asked him what he's got going on.
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